I went skate skiing on Saturday with a plan in mind. I’d do The Maze, maybe hit Middle Earth and then see how I felt and head back home. Only the snow was sucky during part of it, I felt crappy and the area I wanted to ski wasn’t groomed. The part that was had a much higher difficulty rating than I was interested in. I ran into overly grooved runs from the warm weather, rotting snow and hills I could barely negotiate. (I’m not an uber-fit person like many in Crested Butte!)
But as I sat at the bottom of the hill, just having fallen and breathing way too hard, I realized I had a choice. I could allow my expectations to get in the way. I could turn around, go back to my bike mired in the mud and call it quits for the day. Or I could forge onward, testing my endurance, enjoying the beauty and get some much needed exercise. And I could accept everything that was tossed in my way as part of the journey.
I chose the latter.
I have been struggling with wanting things to be a certain way. And while I’ve heard that wanting can cause suffering, I often discount it as silly. But it’s times like this – times that it’s easy to adjust the way I feel about a situation – that make me realize that it’s true. Sure, maybe there is a preference involved, but when it’s that instead of a WANT, it becomes easier to adjust to obstacles.
In the end, in spite of having so many (minor) obstacles in my way, I ended up having a fantastic ski. Much of it was because I was able to let go of my wanting. And because it’s gorgeous here.
I wonder how many times I’m going to have to learn this lesson before I can let go of wanting?